Love is peaceful, love is gracious. God has called us to live in peace according to 1 Corinthians 7:15. God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all Christian marriages are eligible, all of the Lord's marriages qualify.
About 18 months ago, my wife was inspired for us to get together and create a spirit of marriage document or family manifesto. After we prayed about it, talked about it, observed, noted and reflected, we came up with our record and I was pleased to see it was mostly realistic of who we are and not idealistic of who we think we are.
At the top of our document was a declaration of peace. In short, no fights, no yelling, no physical violence, no explosive confrontations.
Now I said our manifesto was mostly realistic, so before you say I'm full of it and ctrl + w or tap your phone's back button, let me clear something up. Yes we do fight.
Scriptural foundation for peace
God's Word is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work, including marriage.
Allowing God to lead us and letting His Word be the foundation of our marriage has fortified us and made us strong like a cord of 3 strands.
The mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The Lord made it clear to us, we need to refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, because they produce quarrels or fights. In order for us to live this out and not speculate, we need to trust. But trust who? I can't find supporting scriptures that say trust in humans, or trust in your husband or trust in your wife. In contrast, we should trust in the Lord who orders our steps. In that ordering, we can be sure of His sovereignty over our lives. This is where faith plays a huge role!
Because our faith is in Him, we decided to make a choice to believe what He says above what co-workers say, above what friends say, above what relatives say. If you read Matthew 10:34-36, where Jesus, the Prince of Peace says He did not come to bring peace. It's important to note that husbands against wives is not mentioned in the list of divisions.
What about you?
Do you believe what God says about your marriage? What do you believe God says about you?
When Jesus says "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." Do you believe that applies to you? It does. Not tomorrow or when, God forbid, you're life is under threat or some distant future where you're a preacher. Today, it applies today. So let us make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification as Paul says in Romans 14.
What leads to peace? I believe it is the same loving kindness which leads us to repentance. The Grace that God has given to us, empowers us to be able to give grace to our spouse. Colossians 4 says we should let our conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
When you receive a call from your wife wondering why you are an hour late coming home. Be gracious towards her in your reply by saying. "Hey, honey. They are offering overtime at work tonight, so I am going to stay for a few hours. Are you good with that?" or whatever applies in your case for everyday troubles like this. Just be sure to remember that love is peaceful, love is gracious. Love is kind and love is patient. Love is selfless, love is honoring.