Tonight I was just another tired mom. The honest truth is that the last round of hugs for my six precious kids almost made me cry. And not that I love my children endlessly way. But in the other, less honorable kind of way
I initially wrote up this long allegorical (exaggerating here) tale to tell you about my day and the reasons for my exhaustion. But, I think you get it. I believe that you find yourself thinking "enough already" at times when you shouldn't and feeling the impending guilt. Or you may give your toddler a quick squeeze when she wants to linger and realize that you are trying to push away arms that won't be tiny for much longer.
I sometimes remind my husband, when he is looking for intimacy, and I am honestly tired, that I'm all touched out. That during my day I give more hugs and kisses and touches of "you are amazing!" and high fives than anyone I know. Are you tracking with me? Is that you?
I'm going to remind you of something. Something that this tired mom reminded herself of tonight as I made the right choice to pull that precious toddler baby closer and not rush out the room.
They grow up.
Simple. Honest. Real.
So make the meaningful choices now. Who cares if you are tired? Who cares if you have Bible study to get to with the husband, prayer time, writing time, be an entrepreneur, and all in the few hours left in the day. I mean, I know that you do. And I know that I do, but those are all things that will still be available to you in 5 minutes. The moments spent with your baby? Those are fleeting. And you can never get those back.
As my favorite Bible Study teacher says "No one will ever get to heaven and wish they had had more sleep!" You CAN push yourself to love more, deeper, wider, and completely. You can forsake your own desires so that you can give that extra hug, change that extra diaper, watch the 15th living room recital, applaud the 29th handstand of the night, have that extra chat right before bed, encourage your teenager, make some extra love to your husband. And on. And on. You can! You just have to decide that it's important.
I don't get it right every time. And sometimes the tears do wet my eyes. And sometimes I have to dig a little deeper than I did ever before. But oh for that glorious grace that God our Father gives! It is the secret sauce to this motherhood game. Drink it in deeply, and spend yourself on what matters. Moment by gloriously exhausting moment.